a blog about depression, anxiety, and writing
I've been experimenting with other ways of coping and getting out all my bottled up feelings. Lately, I've noticed that I have so many emotions that I've been keeping inside and it hurts so much. More and more every day (more and more every hour, really). I think I went from feeling too much to feeling numb to knowing I feel too much but am unable to cry as much as I need to (because I do cry- but the level of crying I need to do to get the feelings out is really painful, but also really helpful, but hard to get myself to do). As I'm trying to figure out how to release even some of my feelings, I figured I'd try other coping techniques to get me by until I really can release months of pent up emotions. I hate holding things inside, but life has been really hard lately and my automatic, subconscious reaction has been to repress my feelings. This painting is one way I tried showing/releasing some of my feelings this morning.
I am a poet. A writer. A student. A fighter. A survivor. I use writing as a means to understand my world, my experiences, my struggles. I use writing to cope, to escape, to help myself and others, and to relive.